the answers.

does he worth it?
no he doesnt. (says A)
does he worth me?
of course he doesnt, silly. (says B)
does he deserve me?
u deserve someone better than him. (says C)


see?
every single person i asked give me negative feedbacks about him.
why am i not influenced?
is it love?
is it pity?
is it sympathy?
is it empathy?


how could they say those things about him?
do they know him as much as i do?
or...
why cant i listen to them and just walk away?
do i know him as much as they do?


why do i stay?
if all i get is pain.
why am i still here?
if i already know that i'll end up hurting more.
why do i let him do that?
if i kn0w that he is just using me.
who should i trust now?
me?
him?
them?


no i dont trust me.
no i dont trust him.
no i dont trust them.


now.
here.
i will answer those questions.
i am letting myself down.
i am intentionally let my guards down.
i wanna go with the flow.
i wanna live today as it is.
i wont bother about tomorrow.


they might be right.
he might be the bad guy.
i might be torn apart.
but who cares about what will happen tomorrow if all u have is today?
no i dont wanna care.
yes i might be his another victim.
its okay.
at least today i have his attention.
no i am not a slut.
i just dont wanna give a damn on the future.
and let my happiness today go away.


today is today.
nobody knows whether i will still live tomorrow.
s0 why bother if tomorrow i am gonna hurt?


pains will never kill me.
and what doesnt kill me, makes me stronger.